Explain Yourself

I am one of those people who never feels like they have to explain themselves.  I try to do everything with the best interest at heart and when I get burned it really pisses me off.  Explaining myself is also something that pisses me off, especially when the story has been relayed by outside sources and I never get to explain my side.


Today I made the mistake of trying to explain myself and in hindsight I shouldn't have because this person doesn't even matter much.  There is no reason to explain myself to this person because it won't make a difference anyway.  I haven't gotten a response and I'm sure I won't.


Oh well, you live and learn.

Craft Ideas

I've been in a super crafty mood lately and since I'm bored out of my mind being home all day, anything to keep me busy!  Yesterday I made Marisah some flip flops with ribbons tied around the straps since she gets blisters from the plastic straps.  Lucky for me the ribbon I found happen to be on sale for 27 cents and peace signs are her favorite.  The flip flops were only $1 so the project was super cheap and easy.  You can do this with any pair of flip flops you have laying around.  It is much cheaper than buying fabric flip flops and it is pretty much the same concept.


The next project that I would like to try to tackle is to make road trip pillow cases.  I found them on Pinterest.  All you have to do is sew a fabric pocket onto an existing pillow case and the kids can put books, crafts, toys, etc in the pocket.  There was also a carrying strap on the ones I saw on Pinterest.  I think it would be perfect for our road trips to NC and can easily be done with fabric laying around the house.  You can take old clothes, sheets, blankets, etc for the pocket.


I wonder what else I can do.  I have a couple of empty walls that I would like to add some decoration to, so I'll have to think about what to do with them.  I was thinking of getting some blank canvases and having the kids paint something for me.

Done

I have never felt so hurt and so disrespected by so many people.  I am tired of the lies, tired of the bullshit, tired of the manipulation, and tired of the drama.


I utterly had an emotional breakdown today because I can't handle this anymore. I need to get away from this.  I am done.  I have spent so much time and energy on two people who have taken me for granted.  One day I'm the bad guy, the next day I'm the favorite (which I could give two shits about anyway).  So this round I am the bad guy...that's fine because I'm done.  No more gifts, no more money, no more rides, no more beach trips.  I am drawing the line.  Bridges have been burned for the last time.

Manners

Do parents teach their kids manners anymore?

Last night Devon, Presley and I went to go see the fireworks at Horseshoe Lake.  We had a nice spot on the beach and set up our blanket to get a good view of the fireworks.  Of course there were a lot of kids running around, but there didn't seem to be a parent in sight.  There were kids purposely throwing sand on our blanket, going past the barricades into the water when the sign clearly said to stay out, kids running through the sand kicking it all which way, and flinging ice cream at everyone.  We and another couple around these hooligans ended up moving our blankets.

I get that it was supposed to be a family fun night and for kids to have some fun, but that doesn't mean the kids shouldn't be mindful of the people around them.  When I have the kids on the beach, I always try to teach them proper beach etiquette as far as sand goes.  Of course no one can be careful all the time, but when a child is digging through the sand like a dog and throwing sand everywhere, that's where you need to draw the line.  Especially when you are on a super crowded beach!

Okay, rant over! I'm going to go enjoy my day.

The Ramblings of Someone Who Can't Fall Asleep!

There's a funny thing about friendship...you don't have to talk to one another everyday, or see each other all the time, but when you get that random phone call, text message or email, it can make your day.


There have been countless times when I've been in a bad mood or felt a little melancholy and out of the blue I will hear from one these friends to let me know they are thinking about me that day, and it will change my entire outlook on that day.  It's like they know.  There must be some sort of sixth sense to let them know that I could use a pick-me-up.  I'm sure I have done the same for them as well.


Seeing them in person is even better!!  Last week when I drove home from NC and stopped in to see Jess and Theresa.  I didn't think I would spend as much time there as I did, but once we get together, it's like time just passes and no one notices.  There is always something to talk about!


I remember a time during college that Jess and I went out to lunch after a night of drinking and we saw a cute older couple in the restaurant.  Jess had asked how, after many years of marriage and being together everyday, that could still have something to talk about.  I then reminded her that we were roommates, had lived together for going on two years, spent most of our time together and we still had stuff to talk about.  I don't know why that conversation sticks out in my head, but it's the truth.


I might not talk to everyone all the time and we might not know the goings-on in each other's lives all the time, but once we are together there is no topic that is off limits.  And that goes for all the great friends I made in college, not just Jess and Theresa.


The group emails, the get-togethers, the random "Jersey sucks" or "Yankees suck" text messages, the "I love yous" and everything else in between.  I really couldn't have asked to have met a better group of people in college.


As I think about my cousin Brian going off to college in the fall, I can only hope he has a similar experience!

I posted this pic awhile back on a couple of friends' facebook pages

p.s. this post does not only apply to college friends.


p.p.s. I don't know what compelled me to get out of bed at 12:30 and write this post!

Frustrated

Trying to search for work has got to be one of the most frustrating things ever.  There aren't many "good" jobs out there and most don't pay what I need to survive.  Not only that, but I don't even know what I would like to do or where I would like to end up.

I think about moving constantly, but I don't know if that is the answer.  I fear if I do move I will miss the kids too much.  They have been a big part of my life for the past 8 years and I have seen them at least once a month since they were born, so for me to move far away and not be able to see them, I feel it would break my heart.

I know I can't base my decisions on other people, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't worry about them.  I would worry about how it would effect them if I move far away and couldn't see them as often.  It doesn't help that anyone I talk to about moving always asks me "what about the kids?"

Hopefully one of these days I will figure something out!

Busy Busy

It's been quite awhile since I last posted.  I just got home after being away for two weeks!  First I was down by my parents, then I came home for about 7 hours to sleep and went down by my sister and spent some time with her and the kids.  We had some fun at the beach, until Marisah got stung by a jellyfish and we had to take her to the ER.  Poor baby girl.  She was in so much pain but she handled it quite well.  She made me sit in the back seat with her while Courtney drove to the hospital and she pulled my arm around her, laid her head on my shoulder and was crying.  It broke my heart!  I wanted to cry too, but I knew it would only make her feel worse.  She got the sting while swimming in the bay, so needless to say, I don't think she will be swimming in the bay again anytime soon.  It's too bad though because she had so much fun until that happened!

The aftermath of Rissy's jellyfish "hug"

On my way home from North Carolina, I made a stop to the Eastern Shore to see Theresa and the baby and to have dinner with Jess.  Sophie is so cute and so small!!  I spent a good amount of time with Theresa and it was so good to catch up and chat!  On the way to meet Jess for dinner I was driving through Salisbury and I was reminded of so many memories that I had forgotten about.  I passed the Chicken Man, UP, Brittingham Square, The Greens, Green Mor, SU, Cheers...all such great memories.  The memories that I made down there would not be such great memories if it hadn't been for the people I met and call my friends.  Sometimes I wish I could go back just for a week and relive it all!  


What I expected to be a quick trip through the Eastern Shore turned into a five hour pit stop.  Time went by so fast, I didn't even realize what time it was.  I started my trip in NC at 8 am and did not get to Jersey until 1:15 am.  It was all completely worth it.  


I wish that everyone could have as great of a college experience as I had.  I wouldn't change any one bit of it for anything!