My Marbles

When my cousin Sarah passed away in 2001 it was the most devastating thing that has happened to our family.  I remember being woken up early on a Tuesday morning to a phone call from my mom telling me that Sarah, who had been abroad in Taiwan, had been hit by a bus and was killed.  I was numb.  I don't remember a lot about the rest of the day.  The four hour drive home was a blur and even after I got home I don't remember much other than going to bed around 7 pm and crying myself hysterically to sleep.

The next days were filled with spending time with the family and trying to make arrangements.  Since her body had been in Taiwan it took awhile for it to be released to the US.  The day after her passing was her younger brother's 18th birthday.  Talk about the worst birthday a person could have.  We tried to make it nice by buying him some Vegan ice cream, but not many were in the mood for celebrating.


Sarah's childhood best friend Michelle, as well as her college friends, quickly became a part of our own family. At Sarah's funeral Michelle began passing out marbles to all of us so that we wouldn't "lose our marbles" with all the heartache and stress.  It became a distraction for me to roll the marbles in my hands and try to forget about what was going on around me.  It was so hard for everyone around to go through such a tragedy.  I can remember the triplets, who had grown close to Sarah while she lived in California, hysterically crying.  They were so young to have to endure such pain.


Since Sarah had passed I had kept her marbles with me everyday. I switched them from purse to purse without giving it a second thought.  About six years ago when my grandmother passed away, Michelle was there with more marbles.  I added those marbles to the ones I had received when Sarah passed and had carried them around everywhere.


Somewhere along the line I must have stopped switching them from purse to purse.  Just the other day I was going through some old purses in order to sell them, and I found my marbles!  It brought such joy for me to discover these and roll them around in my hands.  I feel like Sarah and my Nana are looking down on me.  I will now put them in my purse and once again continue to switch them from purse to purse.  I know I had Sarah's marbles in my purse the day I was in a car accident and had to be cut out of the car with the jaws of life.  I walked away with a bruised rib and some other bruises and scratches but it could have been a whole lot worse.  I remember a police officer looking me straight in the eyes and telling me he had no idea how I survived.  I do.  I know I had a guardian angel looking over me that day and have many looking over me today!